| Pissed off.... |
[02 Dec 2005|11:29pm] |
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Nirvana - Heart Shaped Box |
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For reasons best kept to myself, I am led to believe that people that I didn't paricularly want getting hold of my journal url, have got hold of it. And I don't mean Fran (or anybody else who has got my url from me), but seeing as I volunteered the information to you, that much should be obvious!
Anyway, in the spirit of honesty, in case the people I think have got it, are going to be reading this, this is my message to you.
FUCK OFF. (Yes Fran, there is a lot of fucking in this journal!)
I am sick n tired of people taking advantage of me. Just because I'll help people to the best of my ability (if they ever need help), doesn't mean I deserve to be exploited because of it. So this is a big FUCK YOU to the people that do that to me. And yeh, if you're reading this and thinking 'well, that could be me....' then it probably is you. Unless you just have an inferiority complex or some other Freudian notion of self-worth!
I'll tell you one other thing that really fucking pisses me off. Fair-weather friends. I fucking hate that term, but I can't be bother to go get my thesaurus out. People who want you when they need you, but as soon as the tables are turned, they're off like a shot. Really shitty people.
Honestly, sometimes I think it'd be better to just stick to the people who were there in the beginning. The ones who have been there from the start who have stuck with me through everything. Sometimes I don't know why I bother with some people. I just have this insane notion that I have to make people happy at any cost to myself.
I can't live like that. And I'm sorry if that sounds selfish, I really am, but who the hell can live that way?! You can't please everyone all the time, because for every good thing you do, it'll upset someone else.
And FYI, I know that some people reading this are going to think this is a boy rant, but it's not. Trust me. Whether you choose to believe me or not is your business, but it's not. Oh, and the people on my friends list, this ain't about you either.
I'm just really fucking pissed off. Really angry. I honestly think people underestimate me. Because I might like making people happy, but everyone has a line, and mine will be crossed some day. I am completley capable of having an outburst as much as the next person.
ARGH!!!! I'm going to go now, because I have stuff to do and I want to get up early to watch George Best's funeral.
Night night. xx.
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| Word Counter. |
[07 Jan 2005|12:31pm] |
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3T - Why? |
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This is just an entry to put a word counter on here, so I can tell how much unimaginably stupid crap I've put on here.
xx.
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| Strange feelings.... |
[03 Jan 2005|07:15pm] |
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 ditzy |
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3T - Anything |
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I really don't know what's wrong with me at the moment! Yesterday I started thinking about my childhood obsession with 3T (Michael Jackson's nephews) and I looked on the internet today, and apparently they released a new album in August just gone, so I'm gona do my absolute best to track it down! God I'm sad, but I still find the middle brother, Taryll, really REALLY sexy! Am I completly nuts?
Apart from that, not a lot going no right now. Had Luke here for the day, and if I hear another fucking thing about fucking pokemon, I am going to take somebody's head off. I'm not kidding. Fucking pokemon were sent from the fucking devil. Never will I spend a single fucking penny on that piece of shit. Deep breath....!
Anyway, I'm gonna go, might update again a little later on!
xx.
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| Him Again! |
[02 Jan 2005|06:38pm] |
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Snow Patrol - Chocolate |
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Take the RHCP quiz on supersonicsquirrel.net
So I should date him, and now I'm most like him....does that mean I should date someone like me, someone's who's a guitarist, or should i just go get a drug habit, then marry John Frusciante?
V confusing, but I gotta say, I do find him incredibly sexy, and yes it's a guitar thing, I find more guitarists sexy than probably any other talent someone could have. And he has a sexy voice. And I would gladly get in the bin with him (see Can't Stop video). Also, I know he has very badly scarred arms, but I think it gives him character, and shows that he's been through a lot, and come out the other side.
Oh, and I have a new woman. You know, everyone has someone of the same sex (or opposite if you're gay) they would fuck if they had to? Well mine used to be Angelina Jolie (she's still beautiful, she hasn't got all ugly or anything) but my new person is Ione Skye. She's an actress, I think she's like 33 or something now, but she's pretty! I'm sounding like I'm switching sides or something here, don't I? Lol, I'm not, just thought I'd overshare ha ha!
xx.
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| Evil diaries.... |
[02 Jan 2005|05:21pm] |
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Red Hot Chili Peppers - Easily (Live In Hyde Park) |
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Take the RHCP dating quiz on supersonicsquirrel.net
See Anthony? This is what happens if you go and cheat on me! I WILL date your bandmate!
I'm undecided about whether this whole internet diary thing is a good idea. I mean, I'm gonna keep doing it, but I wonder why I'm so addicted to it. I think it might be a little bit voyeuristic in a way, coz of knowing that so many other people could see into my life this way. I guess it's better to get my thoughts out this way than not at all.
Not much more to update on at the moment. I cried my eyes out for an hour yesterday, watching the last episode of Dawson's Creek. I've seen it loads of time before, but I still love it, and like Sex And The City, it still gets me every time! I should really stop watching stuff that I know is going to make me cry. It's stupid, knowing my current frame of mind!
Pissed with my cousin again. This time, she's trying to get me to do her car insurance for her, and I never even agreed to do it! For fucks sake! Pregnancy does not rid you of all ability to do anything for yourself! That poor baby is gonna grow up thinking it's okay to have everything done for you! I'll be so fucking glad when this baby has popped out, because I can not cope with another eight or so weeks of this. I'm actually going to have to kill her if she carried on the way she's going. My defence would be a very strong case of temporary insanity. You know what? This is exactly why fathers of babies are not around for a lot of the pregnancy stuff these days. Because if expectant mothers as a whole are anything like my cousin, I feel fucking sorry for every expectant dad. I could NEVER in a MILLION years, live with my cousin while she's like this. It's driving me fucking mad. Eight more fucking weeks of this. Can't do it. Can't physically or mentally cope with it. Going slowly crazy....
Apparently, we're all going bowling on Thursday night. Should be interesting. Haven't been bowling in years. I'm not totally sure who's coming, although I know that Eleanor and Jim haven't seen each other in a LONG time, so that will be something to watch. Eleanor used to be totally in love with him, and according to various parties, used to sit and tell in GREAT detail, what it was she wanted to do to him. The mere thought of which scared me right to the core. I don't think she's ever quite forgiven me for becoming friends with him, because I think she thought I was stealing him away from her, because he stayed at my house quite a lot, and he didn't stay at hers. Oh big fucking deal. Why am I being a bitch? I don't mean it, honestly, but it does make me laugh, that she was so completley infatuated with him. Seriously, I've got nothing against Eleanor at all, it was just a funny situation. If she wants him, she can have him, be my guest lmao.
Just realised this morning, how totally hot Brad Pitt is in Ocean's Eleven. I love that film anyway, but I think Rusty is definately....hot! Brad Pitt and George Clooney are uch a funny double act! I hope Ocean's Twelve is as good. Should be worth a look, even if just for the eye candy!
I'm quite excited about the result of my Chili Peppers test. If I can't have Anthony, I will definately move along the line to Frusciante! Lol! Gotta stop this!
xx.
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| Why do people not listen to me? |
[29 Dec 2004|10:08pm] |
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The Androids - Take It Too Far |
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I seriously am gonna kill my cousin soon, if she does not shut the fuck about everything. Yes, she's pregnant, but it's not like she's the first person to ever have a baby.
I'm sick of the way she's expecting everyone to do everything for her, and I've had enough of it. It's not my fault if she can't afford to put the damn dog in kennels when she's in hospital. That's fucking lame, coz I'm not looking after him. It's really pissing me off right now. How many ways are there to tell a person to fuck off, without actually having to say it? Coz I'm reaching the point where I'm going to have to say it soon.
She's using the baby to get at people. Everything that happens that she doesn't like, she says causes stress, which is not true, and so people help her.
Well I've had enough. I am not gonna let her take advantage of me any longer. She's crossed the line this time, and I'm not doing it. She's gotta learn that nobody owes her anything, (least of all us, who have done practically everything but concieve the baby for her) and she has to stand up an take responsibility for herself and her child. It was her decision to get pregnant and have the baby, therefore it is her responsibility.
I have to fucking go to university at some point, and she seems to think that taking care of the fucking dog is more important. Just because she didn't go to uni, doesn't mean it's not important. I am going to uni, because I want a good career and to actually do something with my life. I don't want to perpetually have to ask people for money, like she's done with me.
No more. This is my vow, here and now, that she will not have another penny from me, unless I am buying something directly for the baby.
Okay, gotta go text her back now, tell her I'm not having the dog for her. Maybe she'll stop being so fucking selfish....
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| Weird dreams! |
[24 Dec 2004|12:51am] |
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Nirvana - About A Girl |
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Just thought I'd tell you all that I had a dream about Delta Goodrem last night and she was dead. She was buried in the cemetary near my house. She's not dead, just for those of you have not heard of her!
And in the same dream, I was living in a beach house at my uni, and I was with some old guy, and I opened the door, and some guys came in to brush their teeth, but when it was more than two of them, I told them to fuck off and get the fuck out of my house. Then the old guy was a bus driver who was going to take me back home, but he wasn't quite sure where it was. First of all, he thought it was 158,000 miles away, then when he realised it wasn't, he thought it was near St Albans catherdral, where we will one day have our graduation.
That was a really fucking weird dream!
Night, night. xx,
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| reminder to self.... |
[17 Dec 2004|10:07pm] |
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John Frusciante - I Feel Love |
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This is my list of things I must remember:
1. I will not have Sex And The City marathons, especially on Friday nights.
2. I will not dislike people just because they have what I want.
3. I will stop hating Anthony Kiedis' girlfriend, ex-girlfriends, etc.... they have done nothing to me.
4. I will not hate Sarah Jessica Parker because she has perfect hair.
5. I will not laugh at Sarah Jessica Parker for having a big nose.
6. I will not get upset if I can not watch Richard And Judy.
7. It doesn't matter who stole the Christmas money in Coronation Street.
8. I will not get drunk and tell secrets.
9. I will not listen to Eric Clapton with the express intention of crying.
10. I will not cry every time I hear Sweet Child O Mine.
11. Steven Tyler is not sexy just because of his voice.
12. I must face the fact that I might not marry Anthony Kiedis.
13. Just because someone has what I want, doesn't make them a bad person.
14. However, if above 'someone' is dumb or blonde, or both, they are automatically a bad person.
15. Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them.
16. Just because they look sweet, doesn't mean you can trust them.
17. Men are bastards. All of them.
18. Great sex comes from the man you least expect.
19. A rabbit is not a substitute for great sex.
20. I will not obsess about Anthony Kiedis.
Okay, 20 is enough for tonight. I am going to go and have a cigerette, and go do something useful. Or watch Sex And The City....
Bye bye. xx.
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| To finger paint is not a sin.... |
[17 Dec 2004|04:53pm] |
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Red Hot Chili Peppers - Porcelain |
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I'm bored. I've been away from uni for 2 days, and I'm bored. I have 2 essays due in for the first week back, but i'm not even looking at them until at the earliest monday.
I went to school today, coz Mrs Oldham signed my provisional driving licence form thing. I met Kate first, and we stayed and watched a bit of the school talent show, which, as it was when I was there, was full of crap, mainly from trashy year 10 girls with their bits hanging out. Not nice. It was broken up by three boys who we at first thought were mice, but when they started singing Teddybears Picnic, it became obvious that mouse ears were, in fact, big scary bear ears. It was quite possibly one of the funniest things I'd ever seen, and would been the funniest had I not nearly wet myself laughing watching I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, and seen Paul Burrell eat bugs.
It's nearly Christmas, so everyone is going to be coming home from uni. Enny is home tomorrow, n I think Jim is as well, so I guess I'll see him in the week. I don't really miss my sister, seeing as I saw her two days ago, but I do miss Jim now, coz I haven't seen him since my 21st birthday, back in September. I've seen everyone else apart from him, coz I went up to Newcastle to see Han in October, Zoe's been home, Nic's here anyway, and Kate came into school with me this morning, so it's really just Jim that I haven't seen. Miss him :P.
Gotta go, Corrie is gonna be on soon, and they're going to reveal the Underworld thief. Can't wait! Lmao.
Bye. xx.
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| I wish I had a river I could skate away on.... |
[16 Dec 2004|04:26pm] |
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Red Hot Chili Peppers - The Brother's Cup |
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There's no real reason for the title, cept to say that it's Christmas soon, and that's my favourite, if slightly depressing Christmas song. It's by Joni Mitchell, but I like the Robert Downey Jr version better.
I am finished from uni for Christmas, and I am really happy bout having a break! I got my two pieces of Journalism c/w back, and I got two 1st's, so I'm pretty pleased with that. I don't usually care all that much, seeing as nothing I am doing this year is going to matter once I've done my degree, but I am really proud of myself, because it at least shows I am making some progress with my adversion to authority I seemed to have at school. Poor Mrs Oldham, I really did give her a load of shit when she taught me, I apologise whole-heartedly for how I was, but if I was back there now, I'd be doing the same thing all over again! Lol, sorry!
I found out yesterday that my future husband, Anthony Kiedis, has a girlfriend. I am not at slashing wrists point, but I'm not happy about it. How dare he not tell me?! He's being bad, and I must punish him! Am currently in the process of reading Scar Tissue, his autobiography for the second time, and I have decided that excluding the drug addictions, Baltimore bathroom incident, and dressing up in women's clothes and parading around in front of small children, he is the ideal boyfriend. Plus the fact that is is completley and utterly sexy. I don't think I've ever seen anyone sexier than him. He's just has a certain thing about him, and it's very nice!
Anyways, gotta run, coz I gotta go have some food, and do something usefull!
Bye bye. xx.
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| Outside the trains don't run on time.... |
[14 Dec 2004|07:41pm] |
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Sex Pistols - Anarchy In The UK |
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That's actually the name of a song, but in light of the day's events, it's actually pretty accurate.
My sister came home from uni last night (at the moment she's at football with Helen) and she was supposed to go back this morning, but the train she thought she was getting wasn't at the right time, and didn't even stop at her station, so she's at home for another night. I don't think she's all that bothered by being here, at least she gets her washing done, but I think she's a bit pissed, coz she had to pay another £35 for a ticket.
I am bored. I finally handed in my Journalism article, and it probably could've been better, but it was okay. I got my Reading Prose essay back this morning and I got a 2:1 woohoo! I'm really pleased with that, because I honestly didn't think I'd written it very well. But oh well, I'm certainly not complaining!
I seriously think I am obsessed with Anthony Kiedis. It's not like I'm dillusional or anything, I don't imagine that I know him or anything, but I am completley obsessed! He's probably the sexiest man I've ever seen in my life, and I think I would pass out, should I ever meet him. God I'm sad. I need to get stoned....
Still got Christmas shopping to do. Still don't know what to get Zoe (my Secret Santa person) and i only have a little while to decide. This is getting bad.
Anyway, am listening to a weird mix of Gang Of Four, Ataxia, and John Frusciante, and other random goodness, so I think I will go jump around the room like an idiot for a while.
Bye bye. xx.
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| Tiredness taking over.... |
[13 Dec 2004|11:47pm] |
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Nancy Sinatra - Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) |
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Why can't I seem to get to bed at a reasonable hour?
I sit up and do stupid shit, like watch some crappy film, which the other night was something about some robot who took over a man's body and put his daughter in an orphanage or something like that. Its was really fucking weird, and also a piece of complete shit.
Tonight I went to see Bridget Jones again, cost my sister was home. I love that film. Then I came home and watched Kill Bill for about the millionth time. I am a Tarantino fan through and through now.
Still haven't done the coursework I was supposed to do, oh well, better do it tonight I guess.
Anyways, gotta go,
Love. xx.
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